My Struggle with Pornography (And Why Pornography is Bad)

So, I'm going to come out about something very personal that I've been hiding for a while. Also, discretion is advised on this blog, since this is about a very adult topic. Because the subject matter I am going to be talking about today, is the subject of pornography.

The truth is, I have been struggling with pornography for 9 years and counting. I remember my first exposure to pornography was when I was 16 years old. When I was in public school, public school acquaintances were all talking an unmentionable anime that they said was so awful and that it was the worst anime ever. So, out of teenage curiosity, I looked it up and gave it a watch. That's when I found out all too late that what I was watching was a hentai, which is the official name for anime porn. It was a shock to my virgin eyes, as I watched the episode of the anime from start to finish in horror. I felt dirty, no longer an innocent boy, now that I had seen pornography under the age of 18. It was then that I closed my laptop, went to bed, and never talked about it or mentioned it to anybody.

A new form of pornography would cross my path when I created my first Facebook account for the purpose of roleplaying, where I discovered the furry fandom. It was there that I was exposed to massive amounts of furry porn that was uploaded to Facebook, including but not limited to pornograhy of dragons, which was my one favorite kind of pornography. What really didn't help was the fact that upon hitting puberty, I began to like dragons a little too much. As in I felt sexually attracted to them, which was something I got made fun of for in public school because my peers thought it was unnatural and just weird. And rightly so. Because since I'm a human, I was essentially into a form of bestiality. And that wasn't the only fetish I got caught up into. During this time I also got caught up into otherkin, a community of people that think they are animals or fantasy creatures in spirit. Some otherkins I knew got me to think that since I was a dragon, I was above human law. Which meant that even nastier fetishes, such as incest and pedophilia, were acceptable. And so I was brainwashed into those nastier fetishes. And for a while, I had no shame. I was so dirty that I even felt attracted to underage dragon characters like Jake Long. I found him to be an attractive dragon, but his age is the show is a 14 year old in junior high. Looking back now, that made me feel extremely dirty.

When I became a Christian when I was 20 years old, my mind finally began to change, slowly but surely. I began to realize that pornography was wrong, and that my fetishes were sinful. This I knew. But there was one problem. My worldly addiction to pornography and erotic roleplaying still lingered with me. I knew it was sin, but I didn't want to give it up, because of how it was still pleasurable and fun. And how I thought I could escape from all my problems with pleasure. As a result, my addiction was hurting a lot of acquaintances I had gotten to know online. If I didn't click with someone, I wouldn't talk to them unless they had something I could get off too. And using people like that was just wrong. It was also making the people in real life around me such as work acquaintances very uncomfortable. That's when I knew I had to quit for good.

Pornography is a very bad thing because it is a lust of the flesh and a lust of the eyes. These things are of the world and are not of God. It poisons your mind, it's addictive, it's destructive, and it's sinful. And it causes unrealistic wants and fantasies. Pornography also encourages sexual abuse as well as sex trafficking.

I have been sober from pornography for a few weeks now, for the most part. But temptation keeps on coming my way because of all the furry porn infiltrating the social networks I use. For the longest time I felt weak and powerless to pornography. But now I want to kick this addiction to the curb. I can't do this alone. I need brothers and sisters to hold me accountable, and I need as much helpful advice as I can to get out of this hole I dug myself into. I can't live like this anymore and I want out. You may have noticed how frustrated and angry I have been in some of my really old videos back in the day. That's because I too was deep in sin and struggling, and I didn't want anyone to suffer the same fate as I did. I want to get out of this hole, and when I get out, I want to keep others off the path of suffering and hell. Because I love and care about people that much. Anyways, that was my story, and why pornography is a very bad thing. God bless, everyone.


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